definition:Buzzardo

“April showers bring May flowers”.  Except, maybe when those showers are snow showers.  Luckily, a seven foot snowman keeps watch over the field.  He lists dangerously to one side before the wind knocks him to the ground.  The weather is not particularly favorable for bike riding, although some hardcore riders may beg to differ.  Nonetheless, I don’t think I’ll see any more trails up here this year [grrrrrrrrrr]. 

This snow is the kind that you love when you are five and don’t have to wash your own socks when they get totally soaked with freezing water.  It is so wet that it is turning grey from being saturated with water.  There is no longer six inches of snow on the ground.  It is four inches of slush.  I don’t even have any more highly concentrated, artificially sweetened, somewhat hydroginated, wjowsa colored syrup to pour on it and sell as a slushie! 

We can’t even make snowmen anymore, which is a real shame because we had planned on making a snowman family in one of the freshman dorm bathrooms.  And by planned, I mean ‘mentioned in passing to other delinquents’.  And by making a snowman family, I mean ‘talk about making a snowman family until it becomes too late in the evening and we are all like “[yawn] I’m tired, what’s on T.V.?’”.

P.S.: wjowsa. google it. you’ll be glad you did.

had these walls been made of stone
if these windows were opaque
or the drapes were wrought of iron
this might not have found me

but the sound; the breath
a calmly spoken word unknown
drawing me forth
like a moth to the flame

walking through; rained upon
pausing to understand the past
shall tempting the unknown
ever become a reality

tired eyes close
weak arms sway
spent legs buckle
do I slumber

a weary step falls out of place
and startles this agreement
from the comfort of its den
while the fog woefully lifts

who told me to walk here
much time has passed
why do I pause here
as wind warms my face

in the woods
near an unending path
that went in a small circle
I stand

to turn around and see
these invisible chains
and watch as they dissolve
in rain which slowly ends

One thing that entices me to see a new movie is the title.  Often, I find titles are either: 1. too obvious (Snakes on a plane), 2. too cheesy (Snakes on a plane) or sound like a group of teenage D&D players devised it after drinking several liters of caffinated soda (Snakes on a plane).  I was attracted to the movie “300″ mostly because of this simplistic title, which forces one to think a little before understanding the plot.  In this case, in the battle of Thermopolae, a group of 300 Spartans and a few thousand Greeks held back an onslaught of ‘one million’ Persian soldiers for several days before fighting to their deaths.

Talk about epic movie material.  Heroism, sacrifice, bloodshed, victory, defeat; everything is there historically, yet somehow I was left with the feeling that this movie was a mockery of the whole event. 

So, why did the movie SUCK?

1. It attempted to cater to too many different audiences; from teenagers to historians.

2. It unneccessarily used computer animation to inflate the appearence of certain enemies.

3. It did not focus on the sacrifices and reward of said sacrifices; it simply stated facts in between wildly fantastic scenes.

4. It’s plot line was hasty and seemed like it was designed for a ten year old.

5. It has a horribly misplaced sex scene that did nothing but whore the movie out to eighteen year olds.

6. Quazimodo made a cameo appearance, and it was fit in to the movie poorly

7. Xerxes was incinuated as a homosexual, which again was fit poorly into the movie.

8. There was a giant armored rhinoceros (cgi of course) with a soldier riding on its back.

I could go on further if I had not walked out of the movie.  I was amazed at the stares I was getting as I walked out.  It was as if I was an uncultured being who was uncapable of understanding the complicated plot.  I later realized that the movie was based upon a graphic novel, not on the history itself.  Do you remember in grade school when a teacher told a secret to one student, and the secret was passed around the room until it came back to the teacher in distorted fashion?  Enough said.

My contempt for this movie was reaffirmed as I watched a history channel special about the battle of Thermopolae.  Amazingly enough, the TV special was far more entertaining to watch than the movie “300″.  I was later asked: if I were to have seen the movie under the pretenses that it was based upon a graphic novel, would I have liked it better?  My simple answer is: No.  It tried too hard to be the movie that did it all, and did not focus on the personalities, controversy and challenges that each boy faced as he was turned into a Spartan soldier.

It was not all bad, however.  Some cinematography was excellent.  The battles used a timing that would change randomly and show horrific detail.  Oh, and the previews were good, as previews go, and I wound up watching one of the previewed movies ”Reign over me” starring Adam Sandler in his first real serious role.  A wonderful movie, really, if not just a bit overdone.

But one serious fact remains: most movies are made by confused ‘professionals’ who try too hard to make everyone happy.  Maybe they should stick to the basics, or maybe they should go watch “Gladiator” one more time.  And maybe, just maybe, they should stop using computer animation to make up for their lack of cinematic, casting, or directing abilities!!

GRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHH!