definition:Buzzardo

originators: Barry , Dave

How to be Famous without Killing People at a Mall

Are you a teen looking for a purpose? Depressed and think you have it bad? Well here are a few things you can do in your community to put things back into perspective:

1) Smile and say hello to everyone you meet.
2) Become a volunteer (thousands of places to choose from).
3) Give what you can to those in need.
4) Help a child read.
5) Shovel a driveway for a senior (and expect nothing in return)
6) Help a teen get off of drugs.
7) Feed the hungry
Donate Blood
9) Go shopping for the elderly
10) Visit a sick child

You will become famous in your community for helping others.

Add 10 more things to this list without repeating and post this on your blog!
Add your blog below mine:

Started by bjorlando.blogspot.com

From daverea.com:

11) Try inventing - create something for someone else
12) Try art - create something for yourself that others like
13) Pick up a camera and shoot with that, instead
14) Spend some time as a bell-ringer (tis the season!)
15) Try to break a record - maybe in competitive eating?
16) No, seriously, try - the Guiness book has lots to choose from
17) Extreme sports: People you don’t even know will cheer for you!
18) Build something. (Playgrounds are a good start.)
19) Write a book.
20) Start a blog. (If I can do it you can!)

Additions by buzzardo.com:

21: Sit in a different seat every day [classes, lunchroom, etc.]. You will make new friends.
22: Dispose of litter that you run across.
23: Be a friend to someone who is lonely.
24: Write a friendly letter and send it to someone in your nieghborhood you don’t know.
25: Be honest to everyone, all the time…especially yourself!
26: Walk places when you can - talk to the people you see.
27: Start a club - biking, reading, movie, study, etc.
28: Do something that you love publicly [sing, dance, read]; it will inspire others!
29: Carry out a fundraiser for a worthy cause.
30: Don’t just talk a good game, back it up with positive action. 

Time to add your own! Please keep the links above if possible, and use the trackback if you feel like it.

So, I learned a little bit about websites.  And by a little bit I mean how to add a link to wordpress on the main page.  For anyone who visits, from now on, go directly to www.buzzardo.com where you will find links to stuff.

Spam.  Its not really meat.  Its not really food.  Its saturated, condensed, animal by-products in a can.  Something that can be served as an appetizer during a party where people have invited themselves to your house.  Spam is funny because you can pretend that it is some expensive pate, and everyone will believe you and tell you how wonderful it actually is. 

Crazy, how the name Spam applies to garbage communications too.   Almost like someone actually thought of the crap before naming it.  Coincidentally, one of the reasons I have been hesitant to visit my own weblog is that every time I logged in, there would be several spam comments for me to moderate.  By several I actually mean hundreds, six hundred eighteen on the last go around. 

Adding to the absurdity of this all-too-common problem is the content of the spam messages I have been recieving.

***Warning: potentially disturbing content below*** 

***Do not click on any links!***

For example, I wonder what the content of this message is:

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…perhaps I can get saturday delivery of some cod by ordering online.

Then, there was this beauty which made me think twice about online dating:
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…makes me glad I don’t live in San Antonio; sorry Bro.

Then, there are others which play to your emotions:

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…well, if he had finished that statement, maybe I would be inclined to let him scam me.

And, for those of you interested in drugs:

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If you have personal insecurities, BEWARE:

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Question: what the heck are homosexual symptoms?  Never mind.

Some spambots try to get a little personal:
Hello all Good site in the web http://www.buzzardo.com/!, thanks

The unintelligable banter comes in many forms:
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Apparently, if you show someone enough hotbox, they will succumb to your efforts.

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Who said?  BORIS SAID!

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Sometimes a nearly genuine message comes through:

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Well, thanks to a champion program called Spam Karma, I have not had any anus, herpes, penis enlargements, or other crap in my comments!  Yay, and thanks to Dave for helping me install it.  Comment away, loving audience!

My Newly Acquired Portable Communications Device is no exception.  But, NAPCD is too generic, too plain.  How about: Portable Hip Odious Numeric Executor…nah, too trite.  Let’s try: Happy Exciting Lovely Ingenious Object…no.  Way too cutsie, besides, its already taken.  Yay! I have got it!:  Totally Unnecessary Ringing Device.  Simple, elegant, accurate, fun… ITS perfect!!!

Oops, I have to go now, my TURD is ringing and needs to be charged…

Imagine, for a moment that you are one of the very few [...] unlucky people who have had their personal information compromised during some electronic transaction.  Imagine next, that you have just recieved another potentially menacing phone call, where the caller is unassumedly asking for your hair color, telephone number, house color, the car you drive, your mother’s maiden name, social security number, dog’s name, shoe size, bank account numbers, credit card numbers, and what you are cooking for dinner.  Now, imagine that you have pulled some strings with your buddies in the FBI, and can immediately cross reference voices with names, addresses, phone numbers, and other identifying information. 

So, here it is.  Don’t give away your own personal information, feed them theirs.

How long do you think it would take the caller to realize that you are reading their own information back to them?  Would they not realize that they are scamming themselves?  Are some stupid enough that they would actually call the police and report that their personal information was being stolen?

I can feel the flushing of faces, hear the puckering of asses, and see the dropping of coffee mugs, followed by a brief but deafening silence. 

“Excuse me, sir.  I think I might have the wrong number.”

“I think you’re right.”